Brother Can You Spare a Dime - Not in MA

I forgot that I had walked across the street to whole Foods to pick up ingredients for the Pulled Pork dinner I will serve down the Cape tonight - and needed to call my brother to drive over to get me and my abundant supplies. Also forgetting that you need a back hoe to pull a penny out of a New Englander's pocket, I inquired at check out if I might make a local call? "Thaas a pay phone next ta Maaaaashalls, down pass tha doah, pass our phone on tha wall theya". The phone on the wall that would work just fine for a local call to aid a customer who just bought 150 bucks worth of your overpriced produce? Past that one? "Yep." Could you just call for me on that one. "Nope." Could I ask at Customer Service? "Yep". Could you direct me? "Ova theyah."

This is not an exaggeration, I waited at customer service because no one was there - then THE SAME WOMAN WHO BAGGED MY GROCERIES came over and asked if I needed help. Could you call a local number for me so I can get a ride? "What numba?" Recited the local number. "Ok, dial it yerself then". Customer Service Masshole Style.